Hope Renewed

Tuesday, August 19, 2014


Today is the Day of Hope. It's a day to remember children whose lives were gone too soon, including those who never got to experience life outside the womb. The loss community has been kind enough to include the infertility community as well, and I can't help but think it's not a coincidence that the Day of Hope was the same day I had my appointment.

Because for the first time in a LONG time, I have real hope that having a baby is attainable for me.

The news wasn't all good, of course. My suspicions were confirmed, and I was diagnosed with PCOS. My doctor said that he doesn't think the Depo was really a factor in that, and from the way my periods were as a teenager, I've probably always had it. It would have been nice if one of my doctors had bothered to think that PCOS could have been an issue sometime in the past decade and a half, but I'm just happy to have an answer now. The diagnosis also helps explain a lot of other things -- my weight gain and trouble losing, the unfortunate neckbeard that develops if I forget to be extremely diligent about hair removal, my wonky periods, etc.

However, despite the fact that it's more difficult to fall pregnant with PCOS, my doctor feels pretty confident that he can help me achieve that goal. He says that my age and general good health (I could stand to lose weight, of course, but he says overall, I seem pretty healthy) work in my favor, and he thinks that the only thing standing in my way is the PCOS.

I'm going to be on Provera to induce a period for the next two weeks. For six days, from CD3 to CD8, I'll be taking Clomid (so if I know you in real life, and I seem like a raging hosebeast, that's why, and I'm sorry in advance); apparently five days is the norm, because the pharmacist was surprised that I was prescribed six. On CD22, I go in for progesterone screening to find out whether or not I've ovulated. If I haven't ovulated, they'll do additional testing, but if everything looks good, we'll hopefully be pregnant (but if not, the doc may up my Clomid dosage).

Even though I cried like three times today (on the way there, when he told me I had PCOS, and then again on my way to the pharmacy), I really feel great about what the future holds. If this first round goes well, we could be holding our baby in June.

That's crazy.

I'm trying not to get too wrapped up in the excitement, but I feel really hopeful that I'll be pregnant by Christmas.

It's nice to actually feel GOOD about TTC again.

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6 comments

  1. Glad you are getting some answers diet is so important in PCOS. You will be a mama. Stay hopeful.

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    1. Thank you! I suppose I'll reassess how hopeful I am if I end up several Clomid rounds down the line, but I'm feeling really great about things right now.

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  2. Yay! Good to know peeps with PCOS have hope, since I've always had it, in case I want to procreate at some point in the future. This sounds like great news. :)

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    1. There's definitely hope! Some women with PCOS even get pregnant without help. PCOS makes pregnancy more difficult to attain, but usually not impossible.

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  3. I also have PCOS, and although I have yet to try and conceive, I know how awful it can be with regards to the issues you mentioned, especially weight gain. I'm so happy that your doctor is optimistic and I will be watching this space! I'm rooting for you!

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    1. Thanks Leesh! If/when you decide to have children, I wish you lots of luck. Definitely don't wait as long as I did to go to the doctor ;)

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