Hope RenewedTuesday, August 19, 2014
Today is the Day of Hope. It's a day to remember children whose lives were gone too soon, including those who never got to experience life outside the womb. The loss community has been kind enough to include the infertility community as well, and I can't help but think it's not a coincidence that the Day of Hope was the same day I had my appointment.
Because for the first time in a LONG time, I have real hope that having a baby is attainable for me.
The news wasn't all good, of course. My suspicions were confirmed, and I was diagnosed with PCOS. My doctor said that he doesn't think the Depo was really a factor in that, and from the way my periods were as a teenager, I've probably always had it. It would have been nice if one of my doctors had bothered to think that PCOS could have been an issue sometime in the past decade and a half, but I'm just happy to have an answer now. The diagnosis also helps explain a lot of other things -- my weight gain and trouble losing, the unfortunate neckbeard that develops if I forget to be extremely diligent about hair removal, my wonky periods, etc.
However, despite the fact that it's more difficult to fall pregnant with PCOS, my doctor feels pretty confident that he can help me achieve that goal. He says that my age and general good health (I could stand to lose weight, of course, but he says overall, I seem pretty healthy) work in my favor, and he thinks that the only thing standing in my way is the PCOS.
I'm going to be on Provera to induce a period for the next two weeks. For six days, from CD3 to CD8, I'll be taking Clomid (so if I know you in real life, and I seem like a raging hosebeast, that's why, and I'm sorry in advance); apparently five days is the norm, because the pharmacist was surprised that I was prescribed six. On CD22, I go in for progesterone screening to find out whether or not I've ovulated. If I haven't ovulated, they'll do additional testing, but if everything looks good, we'll hopefully be pregnant (but if not, the doc may up my Clomid dosage).
Even though I cried like three times today (on the way there, when he told me I had PCOS, and then again on my way to the pharmacy), I really feel great about what the future holds. If this first round goes well, we could be holding our baby in June.
I'm trying not to get too wrapped up in the excitement, but I feel really hopeful that I'll be pregnant by Christmas.
It's nice to actually feel GOOD about TTC again.