What If I'm Pregnant?

Monday, September 22, 2014

Well, I'm going to be that jerk who poses a question they aren't going to answer immediately.

Instead, I'm going to start with an update because I like to set things out chronologically (when I'm not organizing things alphabetically, that is).

Today is cycle day 19. I took my last dose of Clomid on September 11. I was lucky enough to not really have any symptoms while I was actually taking the Clomid. I managed to avoid the Clomid crazies, thankfully. While on it, I was a little dizzy at times and I didn't have much of an appetite, but that was pretty much it. After my last dose, however, more symptoms came. I had a few hot flashes, I was hit by nausea HARD on CD 13, and (TMI ALERT) it's been making me REALLY dry in areas that it's not terribly convenient to be dry in when trying to conceive; if this cycle doesn't work, I think I'm going to have to get some Pre-Seed.

If I ovulated, my doctor suggested that it would probably happen between CD 12-15. If that's the case, I could be anywhere from 4-7 DPO. I've been a little congested, and my throat has been really dry and itchy, but that's really all that's going on right now (and that could probably be attributed to allergies). I'm trying not to obsess over every little thing, because that has brought nothing but heartache in the past.

And now, to the question at hand. What if I'm pregnant?

If I am, I'm not going to wait until I'm 12 weeks along to announce it. I know that's a controversial choice, but it's my choice, and I think that's what's going to be right for me. I've been blogging about my fertility issues and this journey to motherhood for three years now, and it would be weird if I just suddenly stopped. Plus, if (God forbid) something does go wrong, and I lose the baby, I'm going to need to talk about it.

However...

I'm not going to tell you guys right away. If I'm pregnant after all this time, I want to be able to share the news with Tom and our families in a special way, and that might take a little time, depending (I'm having trouble deciding what I want to do).

I didn't create this -- if I did, there would be an apostrophe where there should be one.

So whether or not I'm pregnant, I'm not going to say anything one way or the other for probably a few weeks, because if I don't say anything, everyone will know I'm pregnant. By just not saying anything, I can deliver the news, whatever it may be, on my own terms. I'm going for my blood work on Thursday to see if I ovulated; when I get the results, I will share those (and if I didn't ovulate, I obviously won't be pregnant, and all of this thinking would have been for naught), probably on the blog's Facebook page (which I will FINALLY get updated picture-wise after I get my laptop back from being repaired -- I'm trying not to put much on the loaner I'm using).

I know my blog readership has dwindled, but for those of you who are still around, I want to say thank you. I know that reading about my reproductive system might be weird and probably gets kind of repetitive, but I really appreciate the support I've gotten from you over the past few years. It really means a lot to me.

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